The Power of Fear

So in the aftermath of the election I am hearing more about a topic that I thought would have moved on. It apparently was such a concern that it influenced the way that people voted. The concern is over whether or not our newly minted President-Elect would be assassinated. People are concerned that this is a very real threat. Reasons stem from politics on down to race, but regardless of the reason every President has faced this threat. You can't tell me that with his stellar approval rating there is not someone one out there plotting right now against our current President. Thats why the Secret Service exists, whether its politically motivated or racially motivated it does not negate the fact that the variable exists and it will be addressed. Don't be naive in thinking that because attention is being drawn to race that somehow it makes the threat more real. The threat was already there, and the idea that man will plot to hurt one of its own will exist for as long as man himself.

Maybe I have a different view than others and I know my humble life is not on par with the level of this country and its direction, but I know that one can not live out of fear. A little more than 8 years ago I came out of the closet officially. It was a rough time but ultimately it was a decision that relieved a great deal of stress. Like anyone else who has gone through that process you have people who understand and support and you have those that don't and ultimately leave you. I remember having a discussion with a loved one who I admire and respect above most in this world. There exposure was admittedly very little to the message I was saying and there knowledge was limited, formed mostly on stereotype. Out of love there was an effort to understand, and through that came one of their main concerns. "What if something happens to you, what if someone does something to you because of who you are"?

Having had months if not years struggling with this I had formed the belief that I still hold true to this day. I can't stop it. Neither can I stop it if I am on the wrong side of the street when a car swerves. I can't stop it because I don't know the future. I don't know what will happen but I do know what I can do today to make for a better tomorrow. I do know that had I gone down a different path, my life would have been worse and I would not be doing the things I love and would not be with the people I am now. Yes there have been difficulties and heart ache but it was the right choice. It was a positive change. If tomorrow I were to be shot for who I am I would have no regret about the path I chose. I would hope that others would see that and see that my life was better becuase I chose not to live in fear. I chose to embrace that change no matter its consequences.

If King, Kennedy, Ghandi, or Lincoln knew their fates do you think they would have done anything different? If they did where would the world be if they did live in fear and not make their contributions? History has judged these men through their actions and the positive things they have left behind as their legacy. Obama is new, but you can not deny the historic significance of what he has already accomplished and while the future is not known, the potential is there. Would you deny the world his impact by keeping him from living the way he choses out of fear? Great men live and die everyday in this world. Its tragic and true, but what is worse to lose is someone with potential that was never realized.

Laughing at Republicans

No this is not a case for Shadenfreude. Just an observation. Its been what 8 hours now since Obama became the President elect. Republicans are already talking about moving to Canada. HUH?? 8 years of steady economic decline, endless war, and civil rights challenges and NOW you want to jump ship after losing one election. Man people face it your way didn't work. The Right is always telling us about being God fearing and religious well show a little Faith. At least when I would joke about such a thing it was after living with the Bush doctrine for 4 years, having my civil rights challenged and seen every promise broken. I mean don't be so full of vitriol. John McCain's concession speech was great and exactly what was needed, but what he didn't need was to quiet the booing and name calling of his opponent. At Obama's speech they cheered McCain and thanked him for his service. People thought the Dems were sore losers yikes. The Reps have just declared their emotional intelligence to be on par with a 5 year old who didn't get his way. Yell, pout, and run away. I would rather you not go though. Like Obama said we need you. Just pull it together.

Get Out and Vote!!!!

Its a beautiful day so no one should have no reason to get out and vote. Of course I care who you vote for but I would rather everyone get the chance to voice their opinion in a public forum. Yes there will be lines, yes it is an investment. It is your duty as an American, and is really the highest form of Patriotism one can aspire to short of giving your life for this country. This year any website or phone number can tell you where you are suppose to vote. You have every resource available to get to the polls to vote.

I voted this morning and yes there was a line and I am damn sure it will get worse throughout the day. Some people I overheard were cranky about waiting in line to vote especially since "We are not a swing state what does it matter anyways?". True Massachusetts is not a swing state, and maybe this erroneous statement would of had an ounce of credibility if the Presidential Election was the only thing being decided on today. ITS NOT. There are also statewide representatives who need your vote. You think an incumbent shouldn't be re-elected? Tell them by voting for the opposition or a write in. I think when they see a disconnect between who the Precint votes for President and their own results, the message will be quite clear. You also have 3 major questions on the ballet. One even concerns your paycheck! How can you say your opinion doesn't matter when you have been given every opportunity to directly influence how legislature will effect you in the future?

Is it a process that needs improving? Yes. Right now though its the best way we have to preserve our democracy. So please get out and vote. Do it for the country, do it for your family, and ultimately do it for yourself. Its not about winning or losing its about the process. You can't have a voice of complaint in the future if you don't open your mouth right now and act.

A lot of ground to cover.

Wow I just found its snowing in Western Mass. I know its been snowing in Vermont but that's to be expected. Not Mass though. I'm excited really. Its no secret how I feel about winter so there's no need to post again.

I however do object to the Christmas lights that already adorn my parent's neighboring condo. I mean damn, that's two months away. Are you getting the pool ready for July 4th on May 4th? Men are you really thinking Anniversary presents two months prior to the event? Women are you drawing attention to your Birthday that early. No its silly. I understand some holiday cheer and spirit, but you think that the holiday has become too commercial? No its really become too competitive. Who can play the first Christmas song? Who's got the first ad on TV? Who's the first station to go all Christmas format? Oh look there's the egg nog in the dairy section. I think the constant quest to be the first is spreading the season to thin, because you know it doesn't end on 25th of December. Soon its January and before you know it the entire 3 months one quarter of the year if not more has been devoted to this endeavor. For all its efforts was it truly worth it? Just something to ask yourself while you are stressing this year for the perfect gift and wrapping. Is it all worth your time, sanity and health to be stressing over this or would your efforts be better spent in maybe actually investing in yourself and your family and truly be thankful for what it is that you have rather than what it is that you think you need. No amount of tinsel, baked goods, turkey, garland, or nog is going to make up all those months of frustration. So this year my challenge to you is to enjoy the season for what it is, nothing more. Save the frustration and stress and stop looking to solve an issue with materialistic ventures. Think heart felt in your gifts if you can afford them, and don't let your neighbors push you into the latest inflatable snow man. Personally I'd rather forgo a gift and share in your company this season than to know you spent more than you can afford on a credit card.

On to subject number two. I admit there are times I can be mistaken, and there are times when I can be out right wrong. Can circumstances of a given time cloud the overall perception of something or someone? Yes. Can someone change over a course of time? Yes. Is it possible that two people with differing opinions on matters function together. Yes. Why am I saying all this? Because its true, and in my time on this planet I have seen a great many things change. No greater a change can come though than from one's own mind. There are always going to be disagreements, some may get heated, hell that shows passion. You do yourself a disservice though if you let that moment define an idea or a relationship. I am afraid I may have done just that. For that I apologize. In tough times a good ally is one that can keep you on your toes and provide an alternating perspective. Its that future I am looking forward to today.

On to subject number three. Ah hell who am I kidding. I'm tired and I'll save it for another day. Good night everyone.

Table Manners

So this afternoon I was talking to a friend and we were comparing notes on how we eat. Of course I couldn't help but think it would make a good subject to talk about on my blog since everyone seems to have their own eccentricities when it comes to food and consumption. Table Manners are one thing. Elbows off the table and all, you'd be surprised how often these get ignored. I don't ask for much and by no means stand on etiquette BUT common courtesy should be respected. I can remember this date I had not too long ago. The "gentleman" I was dining with was sunk pretty much before he even had a chance.

So we arrive at this restaurant and we are seated immediately. As our waitress comes over and explains the specials she takes our drink orders and had I been in my right mind the date should have ended there and then. I ordered my standard and much beloved Club Soda and Lime. Admittedly a little boring, alas very refreshing for the summer, and most certainly not on everyone's drink list. He orders a very odd pairing of House Red Merlot with what will soon be an Alfredo course. Not the best mix in the world but to each their own with wine maybe he just likes that type. These days pairings are done more to the taste of the patron rather than strict rules of Whites with fish and poultry and etc.

"How can you drink that?"
"Pardon me?"
"How can you drink that shit?"

Um??? I know we don't know each other that much, but with in 10 minutes of meeting me he is criticizing me on my choice of beverage. I thought maybe he was joking. Maybe it was an isolated incident.

"Its a lot better for you then soda and its hot out I would rather have the seltzer. Why did you choose the Merlot"?
"Cause it was cheap and I saw someone drinking it the other day, and I want to look cultured". (Note to men - if you want to look cultured don't announce that you want to look cultured.)
"Still I can't believe you drink that crap".
"OK ENOUGH ABOUT THE SELTZER"

It was at this time I should have ran. To my dismay I didn't I had thought well he likes the same meal as I do maybe this can be salvaged. Besides I hadn't been on a whole lot of dates at this point so I was consigning myself to at least using this as practice. I should have gone over and chatted up the ficus, at least I would have left clean. I always thought the idea of bibs was a bit corny. After this evening though I was wishing that they carried them in bulk at Italian Eateries as well as Crab Houses, because my date upon seeing the plate of food that was set in front him, devolved into what one of co-workers can only describe as a "Beastful Creature". Truly a sight better left unseen. With pupils dilated like teacups he grabbed his knife and fork and attacked his meal with all the grace and refinement of 80's horror movie villain. I mean man, gnocchi is good but this was like air dropping food into Africa bad, and far more wasteful. Maybe he wouldn't have been so hungry if he didn't let half of it hit the table. OR ME!

Check PLEASE!!!

Anyways certainly not the worst date I have been on but thats a story for another time.

Anyways getting back to manners at hand. I don't expect much just common courtesy. With that being said I tend to notice things about people. Their little nuances that makes them who they are. For instance this one doesn't let the silverware touch their lips, that one insists on salting before tasting, this one loves ketchup, that one can't eat chicken on the bone (except for the Kowloon Wings). I don't count myself out of observation as well since I can be pretty particular when it comes to things too. For instance what Jillian and I were discussing earlier is our tendency to eat uniformly. For instance if you have three items on your plate you will eat all three uniformly (not necessarily all at once); in other words we don't eat all the potatoes then move on to something else. Every item has a little bit left until the end, because you always want to end on a good note. Instead of the asparagus end on that final cut of steak, and allow the flavor to linger. Call me neurotic ( I heard that ) but it disappoints me when I forget that and take one last swig of coffee. DAMN now that perfectly seared and peppered steak is gone to be replaced with coffee. Oh well.

In my life though I have observed many people who exhibit similar and differing foibles, maybe not as oafish as my"cultured as McDonald's Yogurt" (sorry Sharon) date; but odd just the same. There are what I call the mashers, those are the people who mix everything together, and optionally dump gravy on it all. There are the cutters, the ones who get a plate of food and spend the next 10 minutes cutting up every last bit into bite size pieces before consuming. The shifters, who move the food around the plate. The players, are usually of a younger age and "play" with the food. There are also the Pickers; they are the ones who will pick out every pea or mushroom in the dish before they can eat it. There are also the Inhalers; who eat as if they have a train to catch (note this doesn't mean they are messy just fast). There are also the Savorers who can make even the quickest fast food meal last as long as 5 course tasting menu. The list goes on and on. What are you? Does one of these hit home, or maybe your a combination. Maybe theres some new category. Maybe someone else has had a bad restaurant date, anyone care to share?