All in Oats

So I'm fighting something.  I know its not a flu because it did not hit like one; just an annoying runny nose, soar throat, and stiffness.  So its a cold, oh colds You Make My Dreams so weird.  Initially I couldn't remember what I had dreamed about last night until I revisited the Tivo and was reminded of exactly how much the show Merlin I saw the day before.  Apparently all night I was casting rather boring spells.  Oh well it gave me a chance to be up early in the morning and make breakfast.  Since Dave was getting up as well I thought it would be nice if I would make him a nice hot meal to start off this cold rainy day.  

No stuffed french toast, designer pancakes, or yummy sausage.  I'm no Rich Girl, so today oatmeal is on the menu.  Nothing out of the box with the well meaning quaker guy and no instant. I Can't Go For That.  Time for a little Adult Education.  Most instant oatmeals are full of sugar,a surprising amount of salt and a sting of ingredients you can't recognize.  You don't have time? Please, Say It Isn't So.  Yes I admit that it takes longer to prepare oatmeal from scratch than those Did It In A Minute brands, but its so worth it since you can control what goes in it.  I choose to use a brand of Irish cut oats, they are thicker than instant and when cooked have a little bite to them.  

My favorite is to cut up some apples and fry them up with a little cinnamon and Maple syrup.  When the oatmeal is done just fold the fruit into the oats and enjoy.  Another great combination is Banana with Cinnamon and brown sugar.  Regular oats are tastefully and nutritionally better for you, and since the oats are a whole grain and not the powdered flakes your digestive track will be working on it longer so you will feel fuller longer.  Still think I'm  Out of Touch with what it takes to get up and go to work in the morning?  Fine here's a recipe from one of my favorites people; Alton Brown:

Ingredients:

1 cup steel cut oats

1 cup dried cranberries

1 cup dried figs

4 cups water

1/2 cup half-and-half

Directions:

In a slow cooker, combine all ingredients and set to low heat. Cover and let cook for 8 to 9 hours.

Stir and remove to serving bowls. This method works best if started before you go to bed. This way your oatmeal will be finished by morning.

Have kids? Prepare this at night, its better than any pop tart you could buy.  

Yes I know I forgot Maneater, and Private Eyes but you can make it topically appropriate in the comments.

This I Believe . . .

An important step in our countries history as taken place.  Time will weigh in on whether it was a correct one or not.  For now though it would seem it has polarized a nation.  Even my own family has drawn a line in the sand and come down on both sides.  Words are being thrown around regardless of their meanings intended to strike images in ones head, and civil intelligent people have been reduced to name calling. The fault lies no farther away than your own nose.  Stop playing Farmville, stop listening to other people's opinions and form your own.  

I had intended to write a post about the "evils" of Socialism vs. the "patriotic" Capitalism, but I am no expert and you would not read it.  So instead of a litany of facts that people will twist and interpret for their own gains I decided I would do something more straightforward and heartfelt.

This is what I believe...

• I believe in social and progressive organizations. 
• I believe the welfare and betterment of my fellow man are important. 
• I believe in unemployment assistance, people go through hard times and need help. 
• I believe that even though I will never have children, it's important for me to pay taxes towards public education.
• I believe that a Nation can only be strong when it works together for the benefit of everyone as opposed to everyone out for themselves.
• I believe that while not being especially religious in the classical sense, that this, is what Jesus preached. 

• I believe in a public option.
• I believe that a healthy population is a strong population. 
• I believe that a healthy population will reduce the amount of illness in me. 
• I believe that most people want healthcare but simply can not afford it. 
• I believe that companies can not afford to pay the growing cost of healthcare. 
• I believe that Health insurance companies are out to make money, and they do a very good job of it on the backs of the people it helps.
• I believe that the cost of healthcare reform should be weighed against the cost of unnecessary wars that had to be fought.
• I believe that people with great healthcare really are the lucky ones and are content at not changing a system running the risk that down the road they may be dumped; just because it benefits themselves now regardless of what there relatives or neighbors may be struggling with. 
• I believe that our government does waste money, but public healthcare would not be that waste.
• I believe that we have taken the first steps to correct our problems

I believe that Americans have gotten lazy and would rather copy and paste an opinion than create a new solution.

So with this I challenge you.  What are your beliefs not your facts, not your regurgitation of talking heads on TV?  What do you believe in?

Shorts

I remember a little over 10 years ago when I was attending college in upstate Vermont we would get these random days in March where everything would just thaw.  It was the onset of Vermont's fifth season, Mud Season.  How was this occasion marked?  Well the temperature would get to about 50 degrees and suddenly you would see shorts cropping up around campus.  Still a little chilly for you southern folk I know but for us it was a heat wave.  Windows were opened and even though there may have been a foot of snow on the ground, and there would be in all likelihood another round of snow coming until May, we would be out celebrating.  Hell classes were even skipped so that people could just go outside and enjoy it.  

Today feels like one of those days; at least it does down here in JC where it just reached 70F.  In fact I'm wearing shorts, sneakers and a polo right now with the windows open.  I know next week it will be back into the 40's but until that time I am going to enjoy it.  This weekend I really have no plans and the forecast is to be around 70 degrees and sunny both days.  While I may not have Lake Willoughby to visit I do want to get outside and enjoy the weather before it disappears for awhile.  Who knows what we will do.  Even if we just get outside at the local Biergarten I will be happy.

Beware though.  My father, who although lacks the training of an official Meteorologist and does not have the trick knee that can predict rain like the old-timers in the mountains, has weighed in on this summer's forecast.  His prediction is hurricanes and lots of them, right up the East Coast.  My father may not have the eccentricities of official weather forecasters but that is more than made up for in accuracy.  Normally Dad is correct when it comes to predicting the type of winter we will be having and when he announces something about hurricanes you may want to just listen.  So even though last year we may not have had a summer, watch out this year because there just may be a storm a coming.

Irish Need Not Apply

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Question: What do you do to re-leave the stress of job hunting?

Answer: You cook. Or more precisely I make meatballs.

If one thing has improved since my excursion south its definitely been my culinary repertoire. Certainly not my blogging, which I pledge to change. Today I made meatballs from scratch. I'm never a fan of the prefabricated meatballs one gets in the market since they really don't taste like meat. So I made my own and I think I have perfected the mix. My style of cooking is very simple. I prefer to make things homemade. Store bought items are often times to processed and contain GMO's, High fructose Corn Syrup, unnecessary fats and unpronounceable salts. In the long run I think the extra time I take to create a meal may actually just extend my life a little longer than those food additives could.

I think I perfected my recipe today; producing a superior ball that holds up well whether one chooses to fry them or bake them. Definitely writing this mix down for future consumption. It just has to pass one last test. That would be the taste test. I already fried up one to make sure the seasoning was right, but the final thumbs up or down goes to Dave. While it is rare I ever get a thumbs down, I do have some things I could improve on.

Tomorrow is a big dinner at home though. Dave gets to have his first traditional New England Boiled Dinner, Corned Beef and Cabbage to all of you outside the New England Area.

Searching

Waking up at quarter to five in the morning has got to be one of my favorite things. ??? Yes, those who know me right now are scratching their heads in disbelief. Yes I am tired and more than a little concerned I've picked up a cough from Dave but other than that I'm good for now. Listening to a city on the dawn of a new day. It's going to be a windy one.
What do I get to do? Hmm laundry and groceries. Not that I mind this burst of domesticality I've succumbed to, but for me I've seemed to have atuned my image of self with my occupation. Since I don't have work at the moment and the prospects of one seem to be elluding me. I'm stuck with this rather awkward anxious feeling. When looking for a new job the first question I ask myself is. "Do you really want to be a ...". Fill in the blank. I mean your job is your identity these days.
Think about it. When you first meet someone, say at a party what's one of the first questions you ask someone? "And what do you do?". I suppose it's a fair question but does it really define who you are. Hell; there are half a dozen other "jobs" I'd rather have but the thing is they don't pay the bills.
A "Renaissance Man" in this day and age is almost unheard of since without a trust fund or old money to carry them through how can one survive. Relax I'm not comparing myself to Davinci nor am I lamenting not being a trust fund baby. I just really wish there was something out there that I truly want to do that would actually pay the bills that's all. Until such time, I will continue to do what I need to to get by.

Location:6th St,Jersey City,United States

For All The Places You Will Go

I had no idea when the clock struck midnight on December 31 turning us over to this new year that it would go like this. Its been a wild ride and I know I haven't been there to document it like I used to. For that dear reader I apologize. I knew at the beginning of the year there was change coming and I knew I was going to have to do something. I had become stagnant and too complacent in life. Now as I reflect on the past 6 months and all that has transpired I can say that I made the right choices in my life. As faith would demonstrate, once I started making those decisions to change and actually live this life things started to open up for me in the most positive ways. Life has been rewarding and the opportunities I've had have been great. In the coming months I will be endeavoring to write more and tell you all about what has gone on in my life but for now there are two things I want to share with you.

First, the rumors and speculation are all true. Very soon I will departing this city I've made my home. At first I was reluctant to move to Boston given its expense and the prospect of living with a roommate. Fortune favored me as I was able to find both a good apartment and a better roommate. I love this city and know that there will never be a place quite like it. From hanging out at the Middle East, to watching the game at Fenway, taking the T in to South Station, sitting in the common reading or strolling down the public gardens in spirited debate I have loved every minute of it. Now though that time has come to a close and as November 1 closes in around us. I will be moving on to the mother of all cities; New York City.

Intimidating yes, but the greater the risk the bigger the reward. I've already started to carve up ever so small slices of the Big Apple to explore, and where I thought my experiences in Boston were numerous I am positive that New York will be limitless. It may be the hight of hubris to say this but I think New York needs me. While I'd never be able to tame such a fierce animal, I at least want to stand up and look in its eyes.

Last before I break for the day I want to share something with you all. Months ago when I left my work a friend of mine gave me a postcard, and on it was transcribed a quote that I've carried around with me in all my travels these past months. The quote was from Ernest Hemingway and it's been my creedo for my current adventures. I would like to share it with you in the hopes that in some way you will be able to understand and experience the same things that I have in my life.

"In going where you have to go, and doing what you have to do, and seeing
what you have to see, you dull and blunt the instrument you write with.
But I would rather have it bent and dulled and know I had to put it on the
grindstone again and hammer it into shape and put a whetstone to it, and know
that I had something to write about, than to have it bright and shining and
nothing to say, or smooth and well oiled in the closet, but unused."

Pride and Prejudice

Well Pride Boston 2009 has come to a close. I think every year in Boston the Pride Celebrations get a little longer. Soon it shall encompass the entire month of June in one whimsical pink feather boa. Sadly I have no pics from the weekends events to post since I just finished figuring out how to charge my new camera battery. Not that there would have been many this year. My participation this year in events was somewhat lackadaisical. Having been traveling most of the week before, then moving my worldly possessions and finally attending a party until about 3:30 AM Saturday I was exhausted. I woke Saturday AM at 10:30 and knew I should get going if I was going to meet up with people and go to the parade. I jumped onto the B line as it was coming by, knowing full well its reputation for being the tortoise of all the green lines. I was elated when the conductor decried the train to be express. At this point really it was a good decision as I found myself surrounded by some teenage lesbians who also were destined for the parade.

Now I don't have an issue with Lesbians; it just seems that they always don't like me for some reason. Now that is not always the case but 9 times out of 10 I will get a discouraging look for my efforts to be social so I let them be merely observing the conversation they were having. Slow and steady did not win this race or get us there any faster as our forward momentum quickly came to a grinding halt. The conductor got on the PA system with his best Mushmouth voice announcing that there was a "Plaster Crane on Cerberus" or at least that's what it sounded like; what he meant was a "Disabled Train in Front of Us". JOY! and if your reading this and you know me you know what I did next. Immediately began calculating at what stop I should get off versus the risk of catching up with the parade. My calculations though were interrupted by the sudden stirrings of the lesbians. They were harping on the T until one of them called out in her best here me roar voice that "we are lesbians we can do anything". I chuckled warmly at this. About 5 minutes later we got to see exactly what her mettle looks like as the lights went out and the train jerked. Suddenly Wonder Woman became a scared little 5 year old clutching on to her lovers tattered leggings for safety as she nuzzled her pierced face in their warm embrace. "We can do anything" indeed.

Now I don't mean to pick on my "sister" here but lets face it. She's a classic example of what I see today on the streets where ever I go. Maybe its because I wear my heart on my sleeve that I don't find this need to put on some false persona. Essentially what you see is what you get. There are others out there like me but they are few and far between. See how my "sister" reacted was not bad or comedic it was instinct in response to unfamiliar stimuli. Her fight or flight response was triggered. We learned that despite her bravado she's more on the flight side of the equation. There's nothing wrong with that; so what's the need to overcompensate?

Eventually the train started moving again. I decided the risk versus return on catching up with the parade would be best if I got off at Park St. Which is where I ascended the stairs and took off for the state house. As I was getting closer to the street I could establish where the parade was by simply listening to the melodious roar of the self designated "Dykes on Bikes". Sure enough I climbed the steps in order to see the parade right on time. I watched as each groups marched, some with floats some without. There were churches with banners, social groups raising awareness for things such as domestic violence, and some sponsors and candidates who bordered on pandering to us. As if by blaring 70's - 80's club music it will get me to vote for you or buy your product. I appreciate the support, attendance and participation in the days festivities but please come up with some better material. Your attempts at camaraderie seem cheap at best.

Scattered between the above were your expected club floats, and ethnic groups. To witch I realized that we are all at this parade, hell we are all at this event but we are a separate nation. Lesbians, Transgendered, Poly, Leather, Bear, Twink hell we have more subsections than we do colors on our flag. While we may be here together on this day what the hell else are we doing during the rest of the year to bridge this gap. This is why the fight for equality is slow and steady. Like the rest of the animals we herd. We form our little groups and hierarchies to feel safe and maintain order. What does it accomplish though other than our mere survival. Left up to our own devices we've created our own little segregated nation no different from the one we want to be treated equally in. So much so that our nations are now stereotypes of what they once espoused. Fetishes taken to the extreme and now branded as the calling cards of our society.

I'm not preaching for conformity, I don't want a single person to become something they are not. I want people to be who they are not what their society tells them they should be. Even my own community which I should belong to was created as an alternative to the main stream gay culture at the time were men could be themselves and not have to conform to the main stream movement. It recognized men for what they are and we are in fact people of all different shapes and sizes. This community is called the Bear community. Even from its benign beginnings the community today has changed. It limits in its acceptance those who it considers in its population. Its message of inclusion replaced by stereotypes to exclude by. No longer can someone who just wants to associate with this group simply do so without looking the part. This attitude is prevalent throughout the society as whole not just the Bears, not just the Twinks.

We grouped together for protection for our survival, now though I fear that survival method has stunted our growth. Its time to start casting off those symbols of subculture and embrace who we really are. We are all unique individuals with a gift we can give to ourselves and our communities. Do not stifle it in the conformity of the comfortable. Challenge yourself every day to be the best person you can be. That my friends is what you should be Proud of; its not what you are but what you have become.

This is the way the world ends.

So as with any life altering events I've had, this one is no different. They are usually highlighted by a period of intense dreams. Most likely my subconscious mind working on overdrive to piece together what the hell I have done in the waking world. For the past couple of days I've been having very vivid dreams which all seem to end pretty badly. I've had friends become enraged with me, particularly violent dreams, and even a nice dream or two cut short by some kind of event. It wasn't until last night that they started to come together. Its playing out in my mind like some kind of Sci-Fi flick.

My first dream last night was of no particular merit until the end. I was visiting my parents in Chicago in what will be there new apartment. I was looking at my mother who was standing in front of big window that looked out on to Lake Michigan. Suddenly I saw behind her a face in the glass peering over her shoulder at me. I looked away and then it dawned on me what I saw and I looked back. Not only was it still there but I recognized the face as well. It was my old friend from when I was growing up. He was none to happy and even less mortal, as apparently he was now dead and a ghost. Stunned I was speechless as he drifted up and over my mother straight at me. As he advanced towards me he said "Garrett, you don't have much time left". To which I remember thinking what is this a Christmas Carol? Is he the ghost of Christmas past? Then I woke. Weird. I know my friend is alive and well, married and although we don't talk as much; I know that no harm has come to him. The warning while a bit unsettling took on a different meaning the moment I fell asleep again.

Now this one was set in Boston I could tell it was an immediate future. As the dream played out the time line was skewed so I shall retell it in as best chronological order as I can. Near as I can tell I was downtown but the layout had changed. I was on Boylston St. close to the common before actually getting to it. I remember having on my backpack as I walked down the street. It was a warm day so I was sweating. I stopped and sat and opened my pack to fetch a new dry shirt. As I did so I was approached by two people who obviously wished to do me harm. Essentially they wanted me to hand over my pack and I refused they got increasingly more belligerent and I wouldn't budge. One who was bald pulled a knife. To which I had responded with my own. His partner decided I was to much effort and ran off. My bald assailant became less enthused about harassing me but was persistent enough to shadow me. Figuring he would cave in with the proposition of his easy prey turning into a hard earned mugging I advanced on him. As we entered the street I turned west and started to hear a commotion coming from down the road and saw something moving up in the clouds.

As it moved around a building I saw that it was not a thing at all but the clouds themselves. I was watching the formation of a funnel cloud as it rapidly descended onto the city. Mind you it was not a large one. More like the pencil thin variety compared to the black voluminous ones that can swallow up whole towns. I remember thinking that tornadoes don't form in cities, even in tornado alley. The only tornado I know that even hit a city was in Worcester in the 1950's. Even it though was formed outside the city and the city was no where near big as Boston. Regardless; the fact was I'm standing in a street with a tornado bearing down on me. My new friend was long gone from what he saw, maybe there was some sense in him after all; even if it did take an act of self preservation to make him realize it.

At this time I followed suit. I turned tale and ran for cover. As any person should know when trying to escape a barreling tornado there are a few things you need to do. Find shelter preferably in a basement, and second while fleeing try to run perpendicular to the path of the storm, because frankly you can't outrun mother nature but you can occasionally get out of her way. While the cloud was approaching I could not find any unlocked building to take cover in. Most having large panes of glass they were not suitable for hiding in. I got to the area where the common now stands but in its place where old abandoned buildings. Now I am literally quite thinking "Any port in a storm" so I make a dash for the closest building and as I expect its boarded and padlocked. It is at this time I realize the storm has changed direction and is coming closer but not at me. What is taking aim at me though is a continuous stream of lightning. It was a peculiar characteristic for lightning to take, while fascinating to watch my curiosity would get the better of me if I didn't find shelter soon.

I turned to the building and saw a small window that was open blocked by a piece of wood that was padlocked. Adrenaline was coursing through me as I ripped the wood away with my hands and pushed the window open to its fullest aperture. I tore off my backpack and through it in and dove in after it escaping the approaching melee. Safe at least for now. I was on the cool floor of this dusty warehouse in the dark breathing heavily thankful for my quick thinking and the building's solid construction. It wasn't until later that I would find out exactly how relative the term "safe" was.

Despite believing I was alone in the dark after a few minutes catching my breath I learned that neither was true. A light bulb turned on, it was the kind that hangs from the ceiling and usually has a string attached. On the other end of the string is a white haired man, dressed in dark slacks and shoes with a grey shirt on with a collar reminiscent of the clergy. If the man had at one time been of the cloth he no longer possessed its benefits as he was unkempt in appearance and as he spoke I could clearly tell he was disturbed. It was not in a way that one would classify a homeless vagrant but more disturbed from the knowledge of seeing something no mortal was ever suppose to see. He seemed shell shocked but he was definitely lucid.

He told me that I had stumbled upon his safe haven. As I looked around I noticed that the warehouse while abandoned by its owners was now the residence of this rag tag group of people. Who at first glance I thought were homeless. I asked the white haired man what this place was? Did they all lose their homes to the economy? He said simply no. He said that these people chose to come here, leaving behind perfectly good homes. I was stunned. The others didn't seem homeless in fact they appeared to look like a community, everyone was chipping in and helping each other. Its like I stumbled upon and underground kibbutz or commune. I asked the man, who clearly was their spokesman, why here why not outside at the very least on open land where they can at least grow their own food. He told me that they had to live there out of necessity as it was not safe in the world above.

He explained further that there is a problem with the world. He did not explain how he knew but just that our world will soon be attacked He told me that there were others outside our world who are actively working to eliminate us from it. Their actions could already be seen he said. He pointed to the current political climate and world economy. He related to me stories of other bizarre weather patterns around the globe to which I had to concede illustrated a bit of validity to his words because that storm that just hit was anything but normal. It seemed as if it had a purpose to cause as much destruction as possible.

That aside he went onto to explain that these interlopers who were meddling in Earth's affairs were still gathering information. The more people out in the world the faster they could get that knowledge, because apparently the information they needed was at the genetic level, so the more people removed from the general populace the better and longer it would take them to get to their ultimate plan. I don't know why I believed him. The whole idea was fantastic as if every element of a sci-fi book or flick were coming to reality. Despite my concerns and suspicions I too decided that I would reside there with them. At the very least it was a self supporting community and I know they could use someone like me helping. It was not soon after that I would be joined by a few other friends.

In time we all began to see what the others were talking about. I however, would not be content just staying put passively aggressively fighting what was to come. I took to the streets having become a private detective. It gave me some leeway to be able to investigate incidents without drawing to much attention. Everything I found though was pointing to a grim outcome. I soon came to understand that if I resisted and fought I would quickly be consumed and destroyed in some manner so I resigned my self to observation. It was too late to affect any change, and part of me didn't want to. Having seen what the human race is capable of I was not above thinking that maybe we deserved it for all the war and destruction we've wrought on ourselves. It was now only a matter of time before it was over, and there was a small part of me that was relieved.

Soon I found myself back on Boylston St. were this all began and sure enough my friend, the would be assailant, decided to try again. This time he had a gun, but so did I. He pulled out his handgun but I didn't even reach for mine, after all what difference would it make if I died here or in some climactic earth shattering way. With my gun at my side I threw one hell of right hook and sent him flying. He recovered running into a nearby club. I pursued and as he ran up the stairs he toppled some people down the stairs and I realized that my own personal safety aside I couldn't let him harm anyone else. I ran back downstairs grabbed my gun that had come loose in the dash up the stairs. I remember it being some gold plated handgun but it was very smooth and rather futuristic. I reached the top of the stairs and he started to fire at me. I remember shouting to him, pleading to him not to make me do this. He responded with more gunfire. I remember cocking the gun, I rounded the corner and took aim. I knew that even if I got hit I would still have time to make my shot count. He stood from behind is hiding spot and started to unload, I shot once. It hit him square in the chest killing him instantly. The force of the shot put him through a window but did not make him fall to the street below. Instead he was no slouched out the open window arm draping down over the gathering crowd below.

I went downstairs and showed my ID to the police and started to head back the warehouse that was my home now. I heard a sound behind me and I looked back up at the broken window and thought I saw something. Kind of like a small spark no larger than a gold ball, and then it disappeared. I kept on walking and the sound returned this time larger and I turned to see a small building suddenly implode. It fell inward on itself and kept becoming impossibly more dense and compact until it was gone, people and all. Then there was a burst of light from the point that it disappeared as if a small star just went nova, and instantly anything along the blast wave was incinerated. From my distance I was knocked to my feet by the pressure wave. That's when I knew. It was over. This was the event. I got back to my feet to run back to the warehouse. I don't know why it would not have helped me. Then the sound came again I looked back to see a large sky scrapper was collapsing in on itself, and I knew that each explosion was getting progressively bigger and there was no way I was going to escape this blast. Sure enough the building was gone. Erupting from its core was a fire that I knew would carry me to the next life. I saw the wave approach and wash over me like a shower one steps into that's too hot. I turned as the clothes burned away from my body. I could see the skin peel away from my arms and the watched as the people who were near me shared the same fate. The last thing I remember as the fire consumed me was collapsing to the ground as my muscles could no longer support me. Death was moments away, on the ground helpless I felt as if I was being pulled backwards my body was being drawn towards the void to fill the vacuum created by the blast wave. My body was crashing into others and debris until it was all just one indistinguishable pile of ash.

I was dead. My body was destroyed, but my consciousness existed if only for a little while. In that time it visited every other dream I have had for the past few nights and it showed me that this is how it always ended. In every dream in every scenario where ever I was or whatever I was doing it all ended the same way. I knew those dreams had ended abruptly due to something, only now did I realize that it was this event in every dream.

I don't claim to know what it all means. I have my suspicions, but let me be clear I do not believe that there are Aliens setting out to destroy us. I do know that every aspect of my life is changing again, and not much of that old one will remain when its over.

Its not a bad thing, it just is.

Peace.

The Incredibly Fabulous Life of the Un.Employed Mr. Earley

I know the title is a bit campy, and despite what you may think camp is not necessarily one of my shticks. There is an inside joke there for those who see it.

Any ways today I guess you could say is day one of my new life. I didn't count the weekend for a couple of reasons. A) It all kind of blended together B) It was just the weekend. Today was the first day I would have been at work had I not decided to leave. It was weird. Unlike most other days. Normally if I were to take a day off I would have gone somewhere, since I really didn't the first half of the day felt more like a sick day. I felt like I shouldn't leave the house cause I was sick or something. I shook myself out of that funk around noon time. Just in time to get a text from my friend Melanie.

Melanie having been out of town for the past week and a half missed all the goings on and stuff so we had a sushi lunch to start to catch up. I realized as we were leaving there really was not enough time. What can I say? I had a busy couple of weekends. It was good to see her though, its unusual for me to feel so close to people at a job I once had. I know its only been a couple of days but still. These people I worked with for years. We've laughed we've cried we've kicked some serious ass. I guess it was only natural deep relationships would form. I also wanted to see her so she could bring news back to the office that despite photographic proof to the contrary (thanks Shawn) I did survive my going away party.

I think I will skip over the details of the party and the rest of events this weekend. If you were there you know what happened, if not the stories that are circulating seem far more scintillating than any description I could give. Suffice to say I had fun Friday and Saturday. Sunday was just plain weird and proof positive that I don't seek drama. It just has this uncanny ability to find me. Seriously all I did was sit at a bar stool and BAM! drama.

Its my first blog in a bit so maybe you were thinking you get a little more, maybe something a little deeper. Nah not this time. Just getting back into the swing of things that's all. I went to the gym earlier today. I'm now making it a point to get to the gym in the morning so I can start the day right. I actually did a great grocery trip today. I got these things called vegetables. I should say previous to this I did eat them but they were more pre-packaged. These are fresh I actually have to use a knife to cut them and take time to prepare them. I'm a little proud of myself. Screw that a lot proud of myself. I hadn't realized just how much of me seemed to start to slip away.

So tomorrow I am going to the beach. I haven't decided which one at this point but I know there will be one. Most likely Wednesday too. This week and next I am going to treat as an extended vacation of sorts and unwind. I think I am freaking my roommate out too. I don't think he can quite comprehend what I did or why, but in a way I even have trouble with it at times. So I can't blame him.

I bought myself a nice little compact camera tonight as well. My old one is just not that portable and frankly is getting quite old. So I picked up a nice little treat on sale and will put it to good use tomorrow. Stay tuned for pics.

Peace.

I Promise

More to come soon. Its just been crazy these past few weeks. A lot of changes are happening some wanted and others less so. Either way I'm accepting them in some sort of Zen like manner that I've not had in a long time. Leads me to believe I am on the right path. The past few weeks have been hard, but change is coming soon. I'm not sure where the winds are going to take me once I set sail but I like the direction its blowing.

Set course: Second star to the right and straigt on till morning.

Where's Waldo?

"To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson



Maybe its because he's a local boy or maybe its because his ideas follow so closely to my own but I recently re read "Self Reliance". It only goes to show that the lessons of yesterday are well worth revisiting.

Squirrel Fever

Has anyone else noticed the same trend that I have? I will overlook the sensationalist reporting about the swine flu (just something new to report besides the economy), to get to my cheif concern. Sure Swine Flu may not be as deadly as some other forms of illnesses out there that we chose to ignore on a daily basis. What concerns me most and what should concern you is the pattern. Well here is a little perspective for you H5N1, BSE/MCD, and SIV. You may recognize them more by their Colloquiel names respectively Bird(Avian) Flu, Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy/Mad Cow Disease, and finally Swine Influenza. See it yet? Poultry, Beef and Pork its whats for dinner.



I think its time the world and more importantly the US take an active interest the food chain. What we do is not sustainable. A steak on every plate is not attainable or sustainable; and nor should it be. As a society we need to start paying closer attention to where our resources come from be it the food on our tables to the clothes on our back. Its time we start to realize the true cost of the items we buy and the lifestyles we choose to live.

New Life - New Blog - Next Chapter, Turn the Page

The weather is getting warmer and summer is most definitely on its way and if this weekend was a sign of things to come; I will welcome a warm not so humid season. The sights of trees in bloom, the sounds of people milling about outside, and the smell of grass and mulch around have awoken the sense of Spring in me. A very specific spring to be exact, May 2000 to be exact.

Its not just the elements that have conspired to make me reminisce. Its also the circumstances that my life has wrought. Nine years ago I graduated college and very quickly needed to decide what to do with my life; sense of urgency aside for the moment I find myself facing the same conundrum. Sure one can argue that I'm a bit wiser, maybe a little more seasoned, but still that big unknown is still out there.

I'm sure nine years ago I would have never believed I would find myself where I am today. Even if I were to have foreseen some of the trials and tribulations that I've endured would I really feel as if things would come full circle? Maybe there is a reason for it.

I remember it was a time in my life where things were coming to a close. It was a high note really one of the best years of my life. I thought I was prepared for anything, and I was ready to go wherever to find my place in this world. I was definitely smart but not knowledgeable. That would only come with time and the understanding that one can never truly know all. Although my schooling was over; my learning was just beginning. It wasn't until I graduated that I learned to ride a bike. There I was on an empty campus cruising through the court yards and parking lots on a rented bike. It was at that point I discovered I will never stop learning and like the bicycle its never to late to learn.

Of course I need to give credit where credit is due. Its not like I picked up the bike from the shop and decided that day I would ride a bike for the first time. Really it was gift from a special person in my life at the time who gave it to me. I don't think he ever truly knew or understood what he gave to me that day.

It was a hectic time for sure. I was in love, I had friends, I had hopes and dreams but despite it all I felt like I was standing on the edge of the water, at night before a dark ocean. I was not afraid of falling in; that's for certain. It was just the uncertainty and the unknown that permeated my thoughts. The desire to set my course and discover my future. My curse was that I had no instruments to guide me on my journey, no compass to plot a course. I relied on people for help and set on my journey.

Now though I find myself staring out on that same ocean. Its no less dark or foreboding, but this time I have something that my younger self did not: confidence, focus, and dare I say a glimmer of faith. While my course is not set in stone or even plotted at this point I know now that I will be far better equipped for this journey. My destination is yet to be determined. but if there is one thing I've learned in all this time it is that its not nearly as important as how I get there.

Peace

Oh Good Grief

Warning the following message is a rant and has not been edited for content, spelling and or grammar. You've been warned.

AAUGH!!!!! Ok I know my life is not shit and there are far more people having a bad day right now. I know this. I have to rant though. Today's just been one of those where you just can't get ahead. I mean I find myself in bed at 9 Pm not just cause I'm sick but partly cause I want it to end.

Work is going alright, I'm still putting affairs in order and organizing as much as I can. My last day is May 29th. I still can't believe it. Even when I type it out like that. As much as it saddens me I also am looking at it as an opportunity and one which I am very greatful for.

Today though tested my patience. Oh it wasn't anything at work. Although I did say good bye to a colleague moving to a new department. It was a precursor to what I will be doing next month and it left me feeling quite a few mixed emotions. Before that though I met Dan for lunch at the Soup Factory. I enjoyed my Matzoh Ball soup ( hey its Passover in Newton, when in Rome...) as he filled me in on the many adventures of his tour. We talked about the upcoming months and the warmer weather ahead. It was nice since it had been well over a month since we had a chance to sit down and have lunch.

My temper was spurned as I made my way back having stopped for a tea at Starbucks I was waiting at the crosswalk for traffic. There was no one to my left except for Taxi way off in the distance. The other side of the street was in no rush to stop. Eventually someone took note and started to slow. The taxi however was not slowing down to my left. I locked eyes with the Jackass and all he did was wag his finger at me. WAG HIS FINGER AT ME!!! I'm a God DAMN PEDESTRIAN IN A CROSSWALK!!!! MF JACKASS!!! Veteran's Taxi no less. The other traffic stopped and allowed me to cross as I stomped back to the office questioning the dubious heritage and obvious intelligence of the driver.

I get back to the office out of breath; truly upset at the fact that I was out of breath, and quietly thankful that my Dr. had an opening today for me tonight. This afternoon dragged on as the only real thing I wanted was to be in bed. My energy is just not there. Flash forward 4 long hours and my Dr. is telling me that I do in fact have bronchitis again, and had I waited a couple more days and it would have developed into pneumonia again considering its in the same place as last time. So meds in hand I head back home but not before a little dinner at the Biltmore (my Cheers if you will).

I'm seriously tired of being sick I was very tempted to beg my Doc to put me in the hospital on an IV drip till I'm healthy but I figured I'd catch something worse there. Lets hope this dose of drugs does the trick otherwise the next course of action is a CAT scan to see why the hell its not going away. At this point I just want a little warm weather so I can sit in a field of grass and feel the breeze. At least I have some rest lined up for the weekend.

Alright sorry for the venting. I'll do better next time.

The Dawning of A.I.

Ever stop to think that maybe the A.I. that they warn us about in the Terminator series may not be Artificial Intelligence. I submit its the collective American Idol A.I. that we should be worried about.

Anyway, so last night I heard it in my lungs, this morning I felt it in my chest, and this evening you can hear it in my voice. I obeyed the siren song of OJ this morning and am getting some rest. While this is not going to be any kind of blockbuster cold I know its imminent. Sigh, I have had enough of this cold season. Maybe I should volunteer and move someplace warmer. Well at least it should be a relatively slow weekend. All I am really doing is picking up a friend at the airport and going to dinner on Sunday. I'm not quite sure what I am doing yet Opening day, but I know I want to see the game somewhere if I can't snatch a ticket or two from somewhere.

I feel oddly calm these days. Yes things at work do lead me to believe that there is a thing called the Bizarro universe, but all in all I feel confident in what I am doing. Its been awhile since I've felt that way. This year is going to be fun and an adventure for sure. I've been checking out the Boston Institute of Language and looking at their Summer Immersion program. In four weeks of work I'd be speaking fluent Mandarin. The thought of studying is positively exhilarating.

Endgame

The Following Post was written 3/20/09: Publication delayed due to content.

Have you ever had a shock so big it immediately unhinges you from life? An event or epiphany so profound it changes your way of thinking. Things that were on your mind yesterday, don't even get a mention today. That is sort of what happened to me this week. One moment my world was going one way and the next it changed.

A lot of people are not going to understand why I made the decision I did. That's OK, it was my decision to make not theirs. Trust me it was not made lightly or on a whim. If I had this choice even two months ago it would have been different. It happened now though. Everything happens for a reason. On the surface its tough to accept. How could someone established in their career suddenly decide to leave voluntarily in this economy at this point in time? It was not easy, I assure you. As I am fond of saying though, its all about opportunity. Knowing when to recognize it and go for it. I would much rather say I tried it than to sit back everyday and wonder what it would have been like.

I love my company it gave me opportunities and experiences that I would not have received elsewhere. I know I worked with some very strong people and forged some friendships that I know will last well into retirement. Sometimes that's not enough, sometimes passions ebb, and sometimes you realize no matter how much you love something that its time to move on. Its because of that love and commitment that my company can give me one last opportunity. A chance to go back, press the reset button, maybe rediscover that path less taken. To experience a freedom I never knew I would ever have again.

Don't worry I have a plan. I have a good head on my shoulders and a strong desire to do some good in this world. When it comes right down to it, when I think about what I want to do in this world I only really have one answer. I want to help others. Now I have a chance to explore that. In the past few years I've learned alot about life, I know and feel that existing is not enough. I've seen people who are honestly passionate about what they want become successful in what they do. While they may not have much from one person's perspective; to themselves they are living richly. My faith has been tested over the years as well, and while I may not subscribe to anyone religion I believe that if a person is truly doing good, then they will be taken care of.

Long Time, No Post

Well I suppose now is as good a time as any.

So lets blog. I apologize dear reader for the lack posts. I have no real excuse. I've just been busy. One may say too busy, I have been going through this phase where I need to constantly be doing something otherwise I feel like I am missing out on something. Some think this is good others think not; I'm not sure what to believe these days. There's suddenly a lot to think about.


Two years ago I made a lot changes in my life and I don't think these next two are going to be any less eventful. Just as I feel I get a grasp on something it seems to slip away and I wonder if that is what life will always be like or have I just reached an impasse point where I just need to "evolve to the next level". So many friends I know have lost so much over the years. I've relatives who lived through the depression who didn't think it could happen again. I am beside myself when I look upon the current economic troubles.

As previous posts can attest I am a star trek fan. So for those readers like me who enjoy it I leave you with this. I feel like this hour is our "Kobayashi Maru". The question is will anyone of us be able to think of a way out of it. I don't necessarily believe in the no win scenario, so maybe its time to change the rules of the game.

I promise to write more soon but for tonight I am tired.

You Can't Go Home Again

Or should I say you can go back to college but you can't ACT like your still in college. That is if you want to be productive the next day.



I'm back from the North Country where flannel and camo never go out of style no matter what season it may be. It was a good trip albeit a little short. I went up Wednesday night to visit some friends before heading over to LSC for the "business" part of my trip. The ride of was mercifully low key highlighted by an interesting audiobook a friend of mine lent me to help pass the time. Upon approaching I noticed something on my dash. It was my ambient temperature gauge and it was reading negative 1. I didn't think it could go that low. Despite that I decided to lower the window to breath in some fresh (arctic) air and hopefully catch the sent of pine. It smelled like a Donkin Donuts. Apparently I was driving through Waterbury where the Green Mountain Coffee Roasters plant is. Oh well.

NED, Ned RYERSON???!!!!

Needle nose Ned?

So today's Groundhogs day. For a little levity around the office I played "I got you Babe" every hour on the hour. It produced the desired affect. LOL Well we are certainly in the doldrums of winter where it would appear that every day is the same. Tomorrow will show some change with some snow. If anyone wanted to know what life was like at my college they should have been watching the weathermen the past couple of days. Seriously the only definite that I heard in the past 3 days is that there was going to be a big storm. Nor'easter quality even, but exactly what kind of precipitation and quantity eluded them just like understanding men eludes me. I mean they definitely try to figure it out and notice patterns but really they don't know until it blows up in their faces. Case in point tomorrow, who knows what we'll get until it happens, and just like 10 years ago (ugh has it been that long?) I find myself looking to the weather for the next big event for some excitement.

So to change that at lunch today I picked up every free magazine and paper I could find to patrol the ads and postings for interesting things to do. I even started posting a few on Facebook to garner interest from others who like me are looking to quell the cabin fever the season is bestowing upon us. Thanks to my friend Shawn I am looking forward to March 1. Why? Well the House of Blues has just opened up here in Boston down on Lansdown St, and that night the one, the only TOM JONES will be performing. Naturally I jumped on the tickets and was pleasantly surprised to see several other friends and a few old college pals get tickets as well. So that will be a welcomed change in the normal routine.

Apparently I need to head back to Mohegan Sun as well. Not just to play my favorite slot machine but also they gave me free slot play credits. Let me tell you they left no time between my last visit and sending out a coupon to try and get me back. Alright time to go grab the laundry.

Peace