Ever have so much on your mind that you don't know what to say? Thats been me over the past week. It would also account for the lack of posts. Work has been busier than I like it to be. It comes with the title now I guess. I would feel worse if it was not for the fact that I see it in others that I work with as well. All will be well soon, its just the getting there that is going to be difficult.
Thats pretty much been the story of my life this year. Its all about the journey to get there. Where is there? I don't know yet. I am still trying to figure it out and I probably won't figure it out until I get a better grasp on who I am. I've been going through some old papers and writings from a year ago. So much has changed, its beyond the point of being good or bad. It just is. I remember thinking back all that time ago that something needed to happen. I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew a change was coming. Now that life is gone. For as much as I wanted things to change; I have to admit there was a certain amount of comfort in it all. I'm not talking necessarily about relationships, but for everything. I almost don't recognize myself sometimes and I would be remiss to say that it does not bother me.
I have worked on building myself back up. Something that I thought could never be done. I was not just hurt I was damaged. I know that now. It is with that revelation that I am moving forward. For me trust was a very important factor, now even more so. My problem is now trusting in who I have become. I think there is only one way to do that though. There are still elements of my old life that I cherish and value, its time to start mixing in what is with what was, and hope that it will lead to what will be.
I am thinking of taking some time off in November. My parents are going on a cruise and someone will need to take care of the cat. I am thinking of volunteering. It would be a good time to take a break and maybe unwind a little.
I will leave you with the one thought thats been going through my mind lately. What is Love?
What is love is a bad song by a band called Haddaway that was popular during out late HS early college years. And thank you SO much for putting it into my head, now all I need to do is walk in on you getting funky to Tom Jones again to make my nite!
ReplyDelete