A Moment of Selfishness

I think I can be a little selfish since it is my blog and all.

One of the things I have been missing has got to be my support system. I think thats causing a lot of the troubles I have been having lately. Its probably a sign that I had a faulty support system in place to begin with, but there is nothing I can do about it now. I guess I did not realize how much I counted on him and was able to draw support from him. Its just been a particularly bad day at work and this afternoon does not look to be much better. Normally I would be able to go home and talk about it but thats no longer an option. It stings. I know I had a good time last night but all those good feelings I had this morning were all washed away right now.

I have this incredible sinking feeling in my gut that I can't explain and it has nothing to do with the morning I have been having. I guess its just a bad day overall and we are all entitled to them. Maybe this is just something I need to get used to. I have friends and family that I can talk to but its not the same. Just something else thats lost now. You know just when you think you are starting to get better something always comes around to make you feel worse. Sorry if it sounds depressing but thats the way I feel right now.

So I am not quite sure what to do right now. I don't want to have to need him in my life. Especially since he's made it abundantly clear that he does not need or want me in his. There's lyric out there which has been repeated recently maybe because it sums up how I feel : "They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting."