Worst 4th of July Ever

I can't imagine a worse 4th of July that I have had.

Seriously and I have had some bang up ones but this one takes the cake. It doesn't help that this is the first major holiday that I've had being single. Let me tell you it sucks ass. Everything that I thought would cheer me up brought me down, and with the exception of seeing my friend Nikki the day was a total wash. I'll spare you the details but needless to say I ended up locking myself out of my apartment, so guess who I had to see since our office is closed to Monday.

Since nothing could be coordinated I ended up going back and forth to Boston, and when i finally arrived at the Esplanade I knew there was no way I was going to get a good seat for the POPS. So I settled on what I thought would be an OK place to hear them and would be a great place to view the fireworks. It was cool and rainy and I sat under a tree so I didn't get so wet, and tried to pretend as if I was enjoying myself. I could barely hear the music since most people around me did not care about it and talked the entire time. Then came the 1812 overture which everyone knew so they all shut up. It finished with a small display of fireworks, in a different direction than I was facing because the view was then blocked by trees and a bridge.

Everyone else then realized where exactly they were going to happen and wanted to move so instant stampede. I said screw it and was not going to bother with the crowd and walked back to my car in the rain listening to my i-pod, and tried not get trampled. As I left Boston I could see them in the rear view mirror, and thought maybe next year. Then I added an addendum, maybe next year as long as I have someone cause I was the only guy there by myself which added a whole new level of depression. I had wanted to go do something so I could get out there and forget about the fact that I was single not highlight the fact.

People have been telling me how I need to get out there. I am trust me and what I have found so far is not encouraging. I am not sure if its problematic throughout "my people" or just a sign of the times but it would appear that Romance is dead. Everyone expects you to give it up on site, and quite frankly that is starting to repulse me. Being asked to dinner is just that nothing more. So I guess I'm going to say that I am giving up for a while on trying to find anyone and try to concentrate on my career. I did that once and love found me (or what I thought was love). Not that I'm going to become a hermit or anything but it drains to much energy. Maybe because I know I'm not meeting the right people, maybe its the fact that I'm holding on to something I shouldn't, I wish I knew the answer.

I'm thinking about hosting some kind of dinner party soon once I get the place to where I like it. Nothing fancy maybe just some hors d'ouvres.

That's enough lamenting for a while. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood for my next post.